Wednesday, August 18, 2004

No Small Parts

OK...there's this guy Jesse who I came upon at myspace.com. He's profile page was really funny and he had written this piece into his "Movies" section, you know the section where most people list their favorite movies of the hour. I wanted to share it here since A: it's funny and B: it makes a good point for actors when they just get a few lines. I asked Jesse's permission to copy/paste this in to my BLOG. If you are on myspace, check out his page at:

Jesse's MySpace Page

For now, enjoy this little piece. Excuse the formatting, but myspace doesn't allow empty lines in this field so it looks like a rant and makes you read it as such...adding to 'the funny'. ENJOY!

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ya, I believe in movies. I also believe in handguns. I mean, I believe they exist. I don't know, I really want to be an actor so it is painful to watch someone making more money than I am. Especially those guys who just walk on and say "Telephone for you sir." $1200 bucks that could have been mine. I have been practicing saying things like "Telephone for you sir" and "Your car, sir" and "she is in room 303, I believe" and "He went that way! Over there!" over and over, putting my entire SOUL into it, for like 5 years so when I see another actor attempt these lines it is all competition. I am like "OH WOW DID THAT GUY EVER BLOW THAT LINE!!! SHEESH!! Were YOU convinced? Were YOU convinced? I wasn't convinced!! I didn't believe for a minute that there was a phone call for James Bond at the front desk! And if there is no phone call at the front desk how am I supposed to believe it is the beautiful double agent Scorching Hotpants inviting him for a nightcap? And if there is no night cap there is no sex, no attempt on his life during sex, no sliding down the bannister with a machine gun AND NOW THE REST OF THE MOVIE COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!!!...I'M LEAVING!!! This is CRAP!!!" I end up throwing my pop corn at the screen. It is usually at these times the orderly at the hospital tells me if I want to continue to volunteer my time with old people I will not be allowed to watch movies with them on the big screen TV any longer if I can't seem to relax.

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